Seems logical

I saw this on someone's Facebook page and it was too good not to steal.

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
   
   
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
   
   
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
   
   
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
   
   
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
   
   
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
   
   
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
   
   
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in the world.
   
   
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
   
   
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Down with April

April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

- from The Wasteland by T.S. Eliot

T.S. didn't like April much. Me neither. I will now remember it as the month in which I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Good thing it's May now. Can we just skip April next year?

STRIKE!

Are you kidding me? A windchill of -30? In March? That's it. I quit.

I have never been more ready for spring. Usually, I try not to complain about the weather. What do I expect? I live in Saskatchewan where it's stupidly cold in the winter, freakishly hot in the summer, and spring and autumn are lovely and last 2 weeks each.

But this past month at work has sucked big time. I've had to sit and watch wonderful co-workers and dear friends get laid off, and every day I wonder anxiously when I'm next.

I'm SO ready for one of the coldest winters in 30 years to end. My whole body is aching for above 0 temperatures. I want to shrug off this parka and kick off these Sorels and run free in the muddy, flooded streets!


I want to gulp down too many pints of Grasshopper on the patio of my favourite watering hole!


I want to see the trees and shrubs blush green again!


I feel like a 3-year-old having a temper tantrum in the middle of the cereal aisle at the grocery store but I don't care. I'm on strike against the weather - who's in?


(Yes, I just wrote a whole post about the weather. So? If I was in an elevator with you, I'd ask if it was cold enough for you, too. Deal.)

Yes, I am alive

I've been hibernating the past couple of months and being a bad, bad blogger.

Thanks to those of you who check back from time to time to see if there's anything new. And thanks to those followers who remain followers. Love you! Here. Have this delightful video as my apology. I'll be back soon.

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance
Uploaded by IgnitionVM

Everybody dance!

The Brighton Port Authority - Toe Jam

Miscellany

• A world economy that completely depends on continuous growth in a finite world can't be good. Can it?
  
  
• I have none of these so-called core muscles. The only things that keep me upright are my spine and sheer force of will. Quit telling me to strengthen my core!
  
  
• Choose-something-from-your-cubicle gift exchanges at work are fun, but at the end of the day you're left with a used coffee mug filled with breath mints and an old issue of People.
  
  
• I always forget Suriname is in South America and, instead, think it's in Africa. Half a million Surinamese are not impressed, I'm sure.
  
  
• When did I let "need" creep in and substitute "want" in my vocabulary? I do not need the following things:
  
  
  • a haircut because I think my hair is doing wonky things
    
    
  • more groceries when the overflowing shelves of my kitchen do not inspire me
    
    
  • a new camera, just because my old one broke
    
    
  • a beer after a tough day at work
    
    
  (Okay, maybe that last one.)
  
  
• I think everyone should read "Lullabies for Little Criminals" by Heather O'Neill. It's an amazing book that will break your heart, but in a good way.
  
  
• Even though I live in an apartment, I can completely sympathize with homeowners who are tired of shoveling all the snow we've had this winter. I mean, when I'm trying to sleep until noon, and the building managers start with the scraping and the shoveling at TEN? How annoying!
  

Hi ho

I've been dreading this day for a week. Today was the first day back to work after a delicious, restful TWO WEEK holiday! Work makes me sad and stressed and tired and for sixteen whole days I didn't have to worry about it at all. Instead I slept and read and ate and drank and talked and slept some more. And then ate more. Oh, and I don't think I really stopped drinking.

Nevertheless, I managed to haul my ass out of bed this morning (after pressing snooze a mere 5 times!) and I walked through the freezing cold to face reality — unless I want to sell my body on the streets, I need to work. Sigh.

But (surprise) it wasn't that bad! I got to chat with people I haven't seen in a while and hear about their family drama and falling-down Christmas trees. And what made it all worth while is that I got to have the following two conversations.


Conversation #1

The scene: Nat and her friend Brett are discussing what they did on their summer Christmas vacation.

Brett: I saw Doubt during the holidays. It's a pretty good film. You can tell it's been adapted from a play because it's very dialogue-oriented, but the pacing was good.

Nat: I saw Marley and Me. It was light but it sure made me cry. A lot. Not that that's tough to do.

Brett: But you're a cat person!

Nat: That's why I was crying. When Owen gave Jen a puppy I was thinking, "A dog? Noooooo! Think of the cats! Think! Of! The! Cats!

Brett: Sounds terrifying.

Nat: It was.


Conversation #2

And then there was this double-entendre-laden conversation about our upcoming bonuses, which brings us full circle back to the title of today's post. Some days I think I'm pretty clever.

Nat: "Pay For Performance"? Sounds...interesting.

Steve: I don't think it means what you're thinking.

Nat: Too bad. Betchya I'd make around...$1.50!

Steve: Oh, at least. I'd probably owe someone some change.

Nat: Don't sell yourself short. I imagine you'd get at least 98¢.

Steve: Hey now — quit exaggerating.

Nat: Okay, then. 93¢.

Steve: Maybe.

(What makes these conversations even better is that they both happened over our internal online, for-work-only chat program. This means that they are recorded and stored FOREVER! Or however long companies store techie stuff.)